Thursday, August 11, 2011

I had houseguests

The house has been quiet for so long. Its was wonderful to just have other people around.

And the people who have been the first to break my silence for years are some of the people I'd most wanted to see.

Elaine is such a proud woman. A warrior. Brian would have loved her. He liked women who had the look she holds in her eyes. They were always his weakness, but he was always so shy...never taking the lead. Waiting and watching

I'm wandering I'm wandering. Focus.

She held me when I was at my worst and she listened as I told her what I could of myself and she listened god she listened.

She had some advice for me, and she made me clear the dust and open the blinds.

She was the one who told me I need to go for him, find anything, just get out

But the one I was happiest to see was Schrodinger.

She...she's the reason I'm able to post lucidly right now. She's an angel, even in her near death state. I'll remember looking into those eyes for the rest of my life

eyes that believed in me as I cared for her

there was no itch.


as long as I cared for her. 

Rachael loves her

and I know I would have loved to been her father.

But they are gone, and once more the house gets quiet. The rooms get dark. The blinds shut

and the crawling returns to my skin

no I need a goal a reason I can't let this keep happening I can't be Maurice

even though it is so sooo easy dahhhling...

you could never resist me, you know. Not once,

But its not just me now. a world where she lives, there is purpose. My daughter.

She's hardly that, my dearest. You know that. Stop this foolishness.

You are me now. You are the reason I'm gone now, so accept me like a good girl.
Take it, it's what you were always good aattttttt.

You don't need anyone else but Brian and me. We are everything.

what about what about Ronan.




  1. Rachael, hang in there. Please, hang in there. You deserve better than him, in any form he takes. Hold together, fight for me, for Shrody, for TMV.

    Fight back, you can do this.

  2. Come on Rachael, you're better than this
    you're better than him

  3. The show must go on. Never give up, the curtain just rose on your new show, you're the lead actress. Give 'em hell!

  4. Fight back, Rachel. Tell him what he deserves, and no matter what happens, you'll be better than him.

  5. I am so sorry. I can't repeat that enough. Good luck with the voices, with the pain. I am still here, no matter what.