Wednesday, November 30, 2011

So now you know most of the story.

In Maurice's  attempt to confuse HIM with a masquerade of identities we all lost ourselves.

We were all broken

But yet I remain.

What do I do now? Who am I to become, now that all of this has come to light?

things I had forgotten did not want to remember

living as a trouphy a plaything

and then

I don't know

For a week I contemplated the handgun brian left behind

For a week I stared at the liquor Maurice left behind, thinking wondering but rejecting. Drink ruined too many people, people I used to love

And now I am waiting for a sign

from something


i miss them

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

And Time passed.

Even in a world where nothign can be counted on, even in a world with THAT time will always pass, slip away

Brian became obsessed with a plan of his own.

"If He is real,  shouldn't there be other creatures? All we'd have to do is make them fight, and we'd be forgotten."

Brian perched over his copy of The King In Yellow for hours. He claimed he bought it from a shop in Harlem but I was never quite sure. He had plans and withdrew from all of us from me. He slept alone, as did I

Rachael held back, and Maurice slowly filled the gaps like adhesive

Rachael could not resist him. Who could? He was a conqueror.

I fled, he followed and claimed

and one night

one night things were different. Brian was out, doing god knows what when Maurice returned. Maurice screamed and raged and grabbed and hit and

I described this once. I won't again. 

When I could, I got up, cleaned up, and waited for Brian.

 I guess I just never stopped waiting


I'm done telling the story. I won't speak any more of the past.


there is one last thing that needs to be said

one night, over a year ago, in the bar

Brian was ther

but he had forgotten me

and everything, was warped

it was better I decided, to let him live, and never know

I've shown him to you, once before.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

''I will be as harsh as truth and as uncompromising as justice. On this subject, I do not wish to speak, or think, or write with moderation. I am in earnest. I will not equivocate, I will not excuse, I will not retreat a single inch, and I will be heard."

Sunday, November 6, 2011

I cant stop coughing its not him though

Its just cold.

And its only going to get colder

forget this. He remembers. He has to remember.

I want that warmth again, no matter the cost. He's alive. He just doesn't remember me.


His hands on my shoulders. "Don't put all your eggs in one basket, darling. Knife fighting isn't some fancy art. It's stabbing before you get stabbed. You're going to get your pretty flesh cut if'n you stay in a fight for too long. Cut first, and you get to cut last."

Maurice showed me his knives. A switchblade as long as my hand. a knife as wide as my wrist. My heart raced. Fear or excitement? I don't know.

" Y-you hurt people with these?"

Maurice smiled. Not his warm smile the one that heated my whole body, but the sick smile of a dying man.

"No. These are for me."


One night brian started shouting at Maurice screaming about he was endangering all of us, how it was his fault. Maurice couldn't respond, only to shake his head and stare at him and finally Brian and Maurice held each other and they

somethings are private.



They had a plan. I heard them like I had heard them all night.

"She's our priority. We protect her."

"I'm not going to do it your way. We can't all be you, you fucking-"

"I know. You do it your way and I'll do mine."

"There has to be a better way."

Maurice laughed. "There isn't."
It had been years. Maybe not years. A long time. Maurice had been gone. No word, no letters. Nothing. We didn't know if he was alive or dead. Brian loved me.

not like Maurice

But we were happy. content. we made do.

We worked, we slept, we kissed.

A peace came over our lives. a stillness, a slow death

And then one night our door burst open and he strode back into our lives

he collapsed in the doorway.

Maurice. Grizzled, looking older, more wild. Magnificent.

Brian held me, tightly by the shoulders.

"What are you doing here?"

"Shut the door hurry! Don't ask questions I'll explain everything just do it!"

I shut the door. Maurice pulled himself up and staggered into our tiny kitchen,grabbing me for support. Brian watched.

"Babydoll, you haven't changed a bit." he smiled, weakly looking into me. Parts long dormant were waking. Warming.

"He treat you good?"

"Y-yes. Brian has"

"Great, great." Maurice sagged into the chair. Only then did I realize he was bleeding.

Brian finally opened his mouth. "How did you find us, why are you here."

Maurice grinned as he began removing his clothing, exposing the huge cut. "Have I got a story for you, big guy." he laughed, a laugh that I had never heard from him before. A weak, hysterical laugh.

Maurice began to tell us everything. How he had been running from debtors, lying low. Taking work where he could. Doing "jobs".

Everything changed. The debtors were slowly fading away. New people chasing him.

Maurice corrected me. "No, babe. Not new people a new thing."


"Whatever was chasing wasn't human. Tall,, I've got it somewhere..."

Maurice began going through his coat, looking for something intensely.

He fished out a picture.

You know the stroy from here, I'm sure. The first appearance, the slow dread. Maurice stayed with us. Brian endured. I endured. Maurice and Brian became friends again. We all began looking for a way out. Maurice wouldn't leave, and we had been dragged in as well. We would find a way out.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

I hope everyone made it thorough the storm okay.

I felt dead

i'm still dying

I'm fine. Everything is fine. Great even.

Let me just remember where I left off and I will be back soon. I promise.

Believe me