Sunday, July 24, 2011

Act Five Scene One

I shouldve done something

its all my fault its all my fault no i refuse to take the burden of a life that I barely impacted

the gift I sent, I hoped they liked it even if now

it was a pair of crystal candlesticks, each cut so they always seemed to sparkle and shift with the light

but Im glad I didnt go to the wedding. I couldn't have faced myself in the aftermath.

The third person of note from the bar. Doc, the bartender, owner and operator. Doc fought in Nam, or so he claims. He says he's been haunted ever since the days of heavy fighting in the undergrowth, and that worse things than HIM lurk in the hearts of men. He wasn't fazed at all when the tall Spectere the locals called in whispered tounges the white man, or as he says they say in the native tounge, "trang nagooey dan ong" followed him home from the war. He thought it was just another form of PTSD and ignored it for years until he encountered other people who had seen him as well. Then he reckoned that if this was real, and a lot of people were impacted, a little place for them to drink and relax in each others company might not be a bad idea, maybe even let out some rooms. So he turned his parents tennament into a little Bar and hotel and settled into the routine of a barkeep for the next 30 years. He says that The White Man has left him alone, for the most part ever since. He's not been moved touched or harassed in a long time, though he reckons its cause he lets folks like me and barry in.

Have I talked about barry before of maybe I should I gotta distr

Barry is this dude, you know, that dresses like some douchebag from the 1820's or something or some mideval noble and uses scenes from Poe works as his modus operandi. He's often in the bar with me, because as far as I can tell he doesnt get much work because of his low sucess rate.

So I'm Drinking heavily last night trying to forget that I am what I am when I see barry stroll in. He takes a seat next to me at the bar and starts talking about the job and his buisness.

Barry likes to try to slip things into peoples food, and then wall them into buildings. Or else wear a fucking carnival mask and pretend he's Red Death and then tackle the target. Yeah hes a tackler.

And hes telling me all about the trials of bricking someone into a wall and how long it takes but how fortunate he is that his job as a mason (I didnt know masonry was still a thing) was so helpful and

of fuck I cant do this right now




Thursday, July 14, 2011

 I feel so peaceful tonight. The itch has receded, even though I haven't acted on it.

I gave forty dollars to a kid I saw in Harlem today. He had an operator symbol on his back. I figured he was a runner, even though he was so young.

I wonder what ever became of the boy, the one from before. I hope he is alright, and I wish he could forgive me

Though he won’t, I know.

Have you ever been in love? Love makes even the worst situation feel so much better.

I realize, I never finished describing the occupants of the bar, did I?

The girl who works there has been there for at least ten years. She came in one night while I was boozing like a man with nothing left. She was beaten bruised and hysterical, though she collected herself enough to ask for a glass of water before she passed out. and doc gave her a job on the spot, she was that bad.

It took years of slowly prying, and a lot of secret drinks, before I could get her to open up.

She had been a young wife. Married her high school sweetheart at the age of 18. By age twenty, his promises had dried up along with his work, leaving them in poverty in an unfamiliar city. He turned to drinking, and the drinking turned to beating, and every day she was beaten within an inch of her life, with no where to go and neighbors who didn't care at all. They saw her.

One day, hubby got further into the drink than ever before, and began to chase her around their apartment with a knife. She screamed, she begged and pleaded, but no one would help, no one cared. He tossed the knife, slicing the side of her face and just began to beat her, punching until bones broke, punching until she was a barely conscious pulp

and then he screamed, and through her blurry eyes, she saw a tendril of black burnt wood, or so she thought, sticking through the bastard.

More and more tendrils began to fill him, and gently, he was carried out into the night.

A lone pale face, or I guess, more properly a lack of one looked into the window, and she never saw her husband again.

Every year, she gets a new teardrop tattoo under her eye. One for every year he's been gone, and one for every year HE's away. He's not bothered her since.

I don't claim to understand.

There's nothing wrong with her. Nothing that a few hundred dollars won't fix.
"Camilla: You, sir, should unmask.
Stranger: Indeed?
Cassilda: Indeed, it's time. We have all laid aside disguise but you.
Stranger: I wear no mask.
Camilla: (Terrified, aside to Cassilda.) No mask? No mask! "
-Act 1, Scene 2d
Along the shore the cloud waves break,
The twin suns sink beneath the lake,
The shadows lengthen
In Carcosa
Strange is the night where black stars rise,
And strange moons circle through the skies
But stranger still is
Lost Carcosa.
Songs that the Hyades shall sing,
Where flap the tatters of the King,
Must die unheard in
Dim Carcosa.
Song of my soul, my voice is dead;
Die thou, unsung, as tears unshed
Shall dry and die in
Lost Carcosa.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Oh hey guys

whats up lately? I've been reading the blogs today, getting all caught up.

I've been pretty busy. Gotta keep busy. A friend of a friend brought my play to this bigwig producer for a major TV station (won't say which) and he wants me to write a series instead of this play. If the pilot does well with the best audiences, it might make the big times!

Somethings are important in life.

I don't like the way you've been talking about me lately though. As if I'm something to be pitied.  "Powh liddle Mawice...How sad."

I see it in your words and on your faces.

When I was thrity in my first year in the service I was left autonomous. I still am now, I never see or hear from anyone else in the Service, none of the other Actors. I had to guess and use the itches to figure out when I needed to act.

Do you know what I mean when I refer to the itch?

its an itch in the back of my skull, in the pits of my chest. It scratches and scratches as things get worse as I am inactive enough. I was scared back then but I was also merciless.

There was a man. He was a new runner. Had a family, Mom, Dad, brother. They were twins. He had told his whole family, I uncovered, as the whole family had a hunted look as they crouched in my soup kitchen.

I gave them my most kind smile and made sure they got a little extra food, and sliped them a twenty. I told them to be careful.

Later, I ran into them "by chance" in the park. I knew what I had to do by then.

I used all the skills of my trade and wove a story of being a runner and knowing a place of safety where they could rest indoors for the night and they without even thinking about it, without even worrying, took me at my word.

I killed his brother, shedding his blood over the floor of the old appartment. I slashed his father until he screamed, until he begged for the death of his sons, rather than himself, and left him to bleed to death.

Then I visited the mother. She had been tied to a chair. She begged,

"DO with me what you want but please dont hurt my familydonthurt my family"



continued without mercy


I let the boy back into the world.

play the part, be the part

Monday, July 4, 2011

when we got out of high school the three of us watched the fireworks this day and even though none of us were single even though he had promised and I had promised our intrepid hero took rachael away from the noise the ligths the sparks and he took her to the top of the hill overlooking there whole world and he kissed her and with that kiss our world begaN TO FAAL APART

and because even then brian was watching and he wept for the loss of both his lo9ves and my heart broke as well

though no one knew it

play the part be the part play the part be the part