Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Dearest Rachael,

Do you realize your spelling of your name is uncommon? Most these days leave out the second e. Interesting choice your parents made.

You may be wondering about how I found your email, or why I'm emailing you when I could just send a car or two of boys to Marcus' home. It is not as if his Mansion is secret. It is a public location and you've been there for three days at the writing of this letter. But if I did that, you'd probably shoot half of them, steal the car they came in and go back to writing soul poetry as you wander America. Again.

So I decided to go with a classic.  A movie villain plot, you might say.

We can't get you that easily. But do you know who can be easily snuffed out whenever we want?

Brian. Brian is easy to find. He is such a good listener, but I am sure you know that.

So this is what we will do.  Brian will be watched carefully by two of my finest hitmen for the next fourteen days. Ah, fuck it, I'm generous I'll give you until the twentieth. You come here and then we can put this mess to bed.

We would have let you go, Miss Sandings, if you hadn't started this gang war. Do you know how many husks are dead because of you? Do you know how many young boys from the Barrio, from the streets are dead because you set them against us?

Forgive me, I rant.

So here is how it will go. You will come back to the city. You will come to the location in he attachment file. Brian will be allowed to live. You will be given peace.

Or you can try to fight us, if you think you can. I'm not particular.

Get Well Soon,



  1. Fucking hell. Just. Please don't get yourself killed.

  2. If it's really a classic movie villain plot, then Brian won't be allowed to live. It would be neat if I was wrong and something wasn't cliche for once, though.

  3. Oh yes, walk straight into an obvious trap that will get you killed. One life down the drain, or two? Hmmmm. Decisions, decisions.

  4. A couple years back, the Slender Man- oh, look, I'm actually referring to him by name- ripped my first girlfriend to pieces right in front of my eyes, just to prove a point.

    I don't know why, but whenever I read this blog I think of her.

    This'd better turn out well. I'm not sure what I'd do if it doesn't.